"Throw Out Teachers, More Time For Beachers"

My friends, enemies and all people who have had problems with a teacher, I beg you, join me in a fight to terminate those god awful monsters that call themselves teachers. Wouldn’t it be good if we could all stay home and not worry about doing pointless homework we’ll never need to use again in our whole lives? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to use our phones and iPods without someone telling us to put it away and constantly confiscating them? It would also be a happier place if we could sit at home in the clothes of our choice, deciding whether to have our shirt out or in while we sit in front of the air-conditioning. These are just a few reasons why teachers should be eliminated.
For too long we have let these people rule our lives and worst of all we pay them to ruin our lives. Firstly, they send us home with ounces of pointless homework that they couldn’t be bothered to teach us in class and it all has to be completed by the next day. Have some consideration! We do have five other subjects that might also involve homework and the teachers complain about how hard it was to mark all of our sheets. I mean how hard is it to draw a tick and a cross? I would trade marking for homework any day. Then on top of the homework we have an assignment to finish in a week’s time because they think a week is long enough. If you bring the assignment late they take 10% off every day. So even if we’ve done the assignment but accidentally forgot to bring it in they take marks off. Have you ever had a teacher who has come to class and forgot to bring something with them? Do we get to take 10% off their pay cut? Of course not.
I bet you can all recall at least once a teacher telling you to put that phone or iPod away, sometimes they even take them off you as a punishment. Does it end there? No! On top of that there’s a possible detention or even a morning detention and a trip to my favourite teacher’s office, Mrs Mahoney. If the teachers have a phone it’s quite alright and can you take their phone and give them a detention? I don’t think so. For example, the other day in class, my so called maths teacher received a call from a person unknown and was I or anyone else allowed to stand up and tell her off? No! Instead I would have received punishment and would be spending some more quality time with Mrs Mahoney. Another thing that I have recognised about teachers, they are liars! Although they would disagree with this statement I have proof. Take the parent teacher interview night for instance. As you sit in that chair listening to how the teachers are going on with other gibberish and saying what a good student you are, they are really thinking to themselves “This kid is an absolute loser, why I could crack him one over the head right now,” while at the same time you’re thinking “Well that’s not what you wrote on my report card dopey.” Is it because they are scared of the parents?
What about uniforms? How many times has a teacher asked you to tuck that shirt in, have the correct matching uniform or wear the right jewellery? Even though, as they are asking you there shirt is hanging out and they don’t have the same type of shirt or shorts as any other teacher. Also if you want to bring a drink in or turn the fans on during a hot day to cool down, you are constantly refused. It’s okay for them, they get to sit up there in there nice little staff room with their drink that is nice and cool from the fridge and they aren’t feeling any heat because of their lovely gigantic air conditioner.
So as you can see for too long we have let them ruin our lives. It’s time we all stood up and took charge. Please, my friends, enemies and people who have ever had problems with a teacher stand beside me as we fight to destroy the teacher race. Imagine a life without teachers, WHAT A LIFE!
Ps. I didn’t base any of this on you Mr Goodwin so my report should stay sweet! ;)